Divorce groups finding more support in churches
Dana Clark Felty | Saturday, June 13, 2009 at 12:30 am
Paula Morris is a devout Presbyterian who believes "God hates divorce."
She also believes God doesn't want anyone to stay in a marriage at the expense of their dignity.
"I think if you're in an abusive relationship or your spouse is cheating on you, there's an integrity you have to support," said Morris, who has run "divorce recovery group" at First Presbyterian Church of Savannah.
"When you are at that point, you're in line with the Bible to get a divorce," she said.
Once shunned in church, the topic of divorce is carving out a niche in a growing number of Christian congregations.
Some churches are hosting support groups and Bible study courses aimed at offering encouragement to those who are separated or going through divorce.
The trend presents a theological challenge for some ministers and members who still see the growing acceptance of divorce as a key problem in American society.
Seeing a void
A 2004 study commissioned by Lifeway Research for its "Facts & Trends" magazine showed that 43 percent of Protestant ministers listed divorce as one of the top three issues threatening the traditional family, along with negative influences in the media and materialism.
However, more than half of the ministers said they believed "churches tend to focus so much on traditional families that they do not serve important groups such as singles, childless couples or single parents appropriately."
Christians James and Sherry Wilson saw a void when it came to ministering to the divorced at Bible Baptist Church. So three years ago, they convinced their pastor to let them start a support group for divorcees.
Since then, they've worked with about 60 people using a 13-week seminar called DivorceCare, one of several video-based curricula created and sold by the Christian nonprofit group Church Initiative.
The program addresses topics such as loneliness, anger, depression, child care, financial survival and new relationships and how they relate to the Bible. The 30- to 45-minute video is followed by a discussion period.
According to Church Initiative's Web site, DivorceCare support groups are designed to "focus on the healing that can only come from the Lord."
The Wilsons believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible and that "God doesn't like divorce," Sherry Wilson said.
"He hates it. But he also hates liars and a lot of things that we can do. We need help with all of it, she said. Divorce is "not the unpardonable sin."
The Wilsons have each been divorced themselves and are lifelong Christians.
Sherry Wilson believes more congregations are softening their condemnation on divorce and seeking ways to be supportive.
"We live in a sinful world. Things are going to happen, even to Christians," she said. "If we can't come to the church for God to heal us, then where can we go?"
Other area churches including Savannah Christian Church, Grace Community Church and Rincon First Christian Church in Rincon also use the DivorceCare curriculum.
Program leaders at Rincon First Christian encourage participants to go through the DivorceCare curriculum twice and then join a study group.
"The second time around, they really pick up on the information," said Minister Steve Parker.
The church initially launched the program a few years ago in response to divorcees in their own congregation. When outsiders started showing up, Parker saw an opportunity for community outreach.
"Folks want to go somewhere where people don't know them," he said. "We've been pleased with the outcome."
As a conservative Christian, Parker says he still struggles with his conflicting desires to both comfort those hurt by divorce and to preach that divorce is defying God's wishes.
"This Sunday I'm going to preach on it and I'll tell you, I'm just as nervous as a cat," he said. "I think (Christians) have a tendency overall to ignore it and it'll go away.
"We all were taught growing up that divorce is the unpardonable sin, which it's not. It's a sin, but we're all sinners saved by grace."
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